“Why me?” Good question. We often ask it when life falls apart in some way. Life’s like that. Usually there is no easy answer to the question, and we don’t always like or want the harder answers. Sometimes there is no real answer at all, just the pain of it. Everyone knows this experience.
We could ask the same “why me?” question when good things happen- and the answer-choice would be much the same.
For over 45 years I have been given the enormous privilege of talking about (and on behalf of) God. Starting in Boys’ Brigade bible classes, doing school assemblies, youth clubs, and then as a pastor-preacher in churches.
This morning I spoke at a church near Portsmouth. They said nice things to me afterwards (which is always encouraging!).
A year ago I retired from full-time work as a pastor. I still do a bit of speaking, perhaps 8 times in this last year. Although I’ve been doing this for so long, I am still amazed that I have been given the privilege. It is an awesome responsibility to speak to others about God. Why me? There are many worthier and more capable people God could have sent. Why me? Answers on a postcard please!
I’m not alone in feeling like this. Most if not all preachers have times when they would willingly give up. Does my life match up to my words? Do I speak out of love and compassion? Do I know what I’m on about? Do I know God, or just know stuff about Him?
Paul the apostle wrote about this: Ephesians 3:8 (Message)
“When it came to presenting the Message to people who had no background in God’s way, I was the least qualified of any of the available Christians. God saw to it that I was equipped, but you can be sure that it had nothing to do with my natural abilities. And so here I am, preaching and writing about things that are way over my head, the inexhaustible riches and generosity of Christ.”
Today I simply want to thank the churches, schools, community groups and individuals who have been kind enough and patient enough to listen. Then I need to say a reverent “thank You” to God who has been willing to accept me, love me, and save me; then give me a purpose for living and speaking and writing. I still think “Why me?” but I appreciate the opportunities to see heavenly Love transform people’s lives- including my own. I’m not perfect, and won’t be in this lifetime. Jesus IS perfect and can even use an ordinary man or woman to do stuff that matters for eternity.
Can I ask for one thing? Pray for preachers, pastors, and the people in churches who dare to speak and serve in the Name of Jesus. Pray for them, appreciate them, encourage them, (and sometimes forgive them because they are human too). They may be feeling “yuk” OR “wow”…. or could be struggling with life and the “why me” moments. They speak because God has put a responsibility on their shoulders, and a fire in their heart. Please fan the flame. You will benefit too!
Cutting the grass is a thankless task. It grows back.
Watching an Austrian family haymaking under the Gampenbahn (cable car) cured me of moaning (except on really bad days). Operating on a 45-degree slope, 3,000 feet up an Alp, in blistering sunshine; they speedily and apparently cheerfully mowed the high meadow and then, working by hand, dragged the cut grass into piles so the sun could dry it as fragrant hay for the winter stock. It makes my few square feet of lawn seem very insignificant. And my complaining very wimpish. No more moaning for me.
We take grass for granted. Even in this hot summer, the grass has survived the near-drought. With a few splashes of rain, it greened up quickly and reached for the skies!
Grass is temporary. A perfect lawn is a joy to see, but a nightmare to maintain. Long grass in fields is cut off in its prime for silage or hay, or grazed remorselessly by farm stock.
It can be very attractive. These ornamental grasses are displayed at the Eden Project, in the wonderful conservation gardens set in a reclaimed Cornish quarry.
The “horsetail” grasses are really rather gorgeous when you look closely. Beauty has purpose- these waving tails are the seed-heads that offer some “immortality” to the grass.
When turned into hay, it is the mixture of seeds, flowers, stalks and herbs that make delicious cattle feed, sweet and fragrant.
Grass always dries up.
What can’t be used, eaten, or stored is thrown away, burned up, or composted. And have you ever smelled the ghastly pong of silage? No grass grows up wanting to be silage.
Perhaps it isn’t surprising that the writers of several books in the Bible use grass as an example or warning. Politicians and rulers become proud, even arrogant; some “make history” or at least a reputation before they go. Go they must. The world is cursed with very arrogant and loud people who have an inflated sense of their own importance, and not much perspective on how long “history” may be after their contribution has been reaped or discarded. Grass is probably one of the most widespread plant types across Planet Earth. Just like people are the most noticeable (and damaging) species of animal life. Grass withers. What stands eternal?
1 Peter 1:24-25
As the Scriptures say, “People are like grass; their beauty is like a flower in the field. The grass withers and the flower fades. But the word of the Lord remains forever.” And that word is the Good News that was preached to you.
It is 2 o’clock in the middle of the night as I type. Sleep has evaded me so far, and rather than disturb sleeping beauty in the bedroom, I am thinking rueful thoughts about the grass I will have to mow later this morning. I suspect the neighbours might be ungrateful if I go and do it now… “Hark, sweet nightingale! What noisy Flymo is this, larking about in the dark? Sweet motor, desist your whirling rotor that we may sleep in peace tonight.”
Hay-ho. Enough of such whimsy. But in these quiet dark minutes my thoughts turn to what is truly valuable, worthwhile, eternal. Not the grassy stuff, not even the beauty of the flowers, but the One who made it all, and who sustains life as we live it, and who has prepared a future glory and destiny that will outshine our best and hide our worst. The Word of the Lord… the Good News proclaimed in body, speech and action. Jesus who picked corn in the fields, enjoyed the beauty of field and majesty of mountain, and who is reconciling Creation and threshing out the weeds. The glory that is to come, so much more than we have yet seen. That will remain forever- and I’m looking forward to seeing what true beauty and REAL real life will be like. That which WON’T wither.
Sweet dreams! Sleep tight. When you awake, look for what is good, and true, and holy, and wonderful. Because that is what life is really all about. The “forever” stuff.
Words & photos (c) Richard Starling, 2018.
Cheetahs used to be an also-ran (if you’ll pardon the pun!) as far as I was concerned. Tigers are still my favourite big cat, but I have become much more fond of cheetahs. A simple reason. When we lived near Whipsnade Zoo, the cheetahs were more co-operative subjects- so I spent time photographing them. The other big cats were often sleeping or hiding out of sight. But the cheetahs had an accessible enclosure and often sat out in the open.
Their grace and beauty won me over. Their coat is lovely, and the expression in their eyes entranced me. Cheetahs look at the horizon ready to streak after a passing lunch. They seem to look through visitors with an expression of dignified distain. Obviously, we humans are not worth chasing… but we are welcome to give our adulation as is proper to ALL cats. Cheetahs pose to be admired by the passing plebs.
In this photo, the sun was burning through a misty morning, and just as the cheetah stirred, a gorgeous back-light highlighted its fur in pure gold. A much better picture than the hoped-for but dozing lion hidden in the long grass well away from my lens!
Someone asked me recently about getting to know God better. I don’t know any real shortcuts- patience and desire are key. One thing I have discovered… The more time I spend seeking out holy ways and knowledge, the closer I come to God. Perhaps I have found a way to “cheetah” after all…
Much as I fell in love with cheetahs by default and opportunism, I have come to love Jesus Christ because He has put himself into my path by many small revelations and experiences. I have come to recognise His voice and ways by encounter rather than some lofty pietism which puts the object of faith out of reach. Too big, too distant, too important to be bothered with a mere human like me.
The truth is that God’s heart is set on us, and the Father sends the Son and Holy Spirit to draw us closer. His goodness and holiness are available to us through faith and obedience. Don’t forget the parable Jesus told about a “prodigal son” whose Father REJOICED in the rebel’s return. We are welcome in God’s presence because He has made a Way.
Two short scriptures to meditate on:
James 4:8 (TNIV) Come near to God and he will come near to you. Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded…
Proverbs 18:24 (TNIV) One who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.
30 years ago today I had the immense privilege of being ordained as a Baptist minister. This photo is of St Paul’s Monument in Malta, in the bay where Paul was shipwrecked. It seemed appropriate to mark the years of service by referencing the apostle who helped millions to find and grow in Christian faith. When I was baptised as a believer, 29th April 1973, my father chose some words from Paul’s first letter to Timothy to inspire me and help me find a purpose in my life. I have tried to live up to that scripture with God’s gracious help and power. (see below)
Today I want to bless all those who have encouraged, strengthened, challenged and blessed me: first to Juliet Starling, the wonderful wife God has given me. For putting up with me (and my sense of humour) through health & sickness, blessing and hardship and for contributing so much to my own life as well as “our” churches. Your loving support has been vital.
I continue to give thanks for my parents, siblings and their lovely families who mean so much- consider yourselves all loved very much!
I thank God for faithful friends and co-workers through the years. Spurgeon’s College gave me a great start and a number of lifelong friend-colleagues for which I am eternally grateful. Whatever I have done that is good and helpful is and has been dedicated to God’s glory; for my mistakes, failures, and struggles I thank God for forgiveness and for the fact He is not limited by my limitations.
Where I have hurt or failed any of the people in my family, friends, churches or communities, I ask forgiveness and pray that Christ will heal and restore them. Jesus is so much better and more loving than I have ever been.
For the immense privilege of sharing lives in joy or sadness, exceptional and ordinary circumstances, I praise the Lord- and thank Him for allowing me to help others explore what it means to be a Christ-follower. It is my hope that in “retirement” I may continue to learn, to grow, and to serve. The “good news” of Jesus, Lord and Saviour has been at the heart of who I am since my early years. That will not change, and I believe the best is yet to come. May God bless all who read this with love, peace, and fullness of life.
1 Timothy 6:11-16 (ANIV)
But you, man of God, flee from all this, and pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, endurance and gentleness. Fight the good fight of the faith. Take hold of the eternal life to which you were called when you made your good confession in the presence of many witnesses. In the sight of God, who gives life to everything, and of Christ Jesus, who while testifying before Pontius Pilate made the good confession, I charge you to keep this command without spot or blame until the appearing of our Lord Jesus Christ, which God will bring about in his own time – God, the blessed and only Ruler, the King of kings and Lord of lords, who alone is immortal and who lives in unapproachable light, whom no-one has seen or can see. To him be honour and might for ever. Amen.
Neither you nor I.
But when the trees bow down their heads,
The wind is passing by. (poem by Christina G. Rossetti)
Trees in a breeze. Useful to note how the wind is blowing. I take note of wind strength and direction when planning my exercise. Cycling down here on the south coast is made more interesting by the wind. Lots of sea breezes, a few gales… and seven times out of ten it blows straight in your face! It makes sailing seem simple. (Although I may be wrong!)
Ever tried telling the wind which way to blow? Epic fail. On the other hand, if we set our sails to CATCH the wind we will go far and fast. Watching the windsurfers yesterday proved the hardest part was actually getting upright on the board. After that, it was a question of adjusting balance and the angle of the sail. Speed… exhilaration… great physical workout… Sheer fun!
I wonder if life could be more “fun” if we choose to “wind”surf to the breezes of God?
Jesus spoke about the action of the Holy Spirit as akin to the wind. Hear it- yes. Observe the effects- yes. See it? No.
We can’t control the wind, and we can’t control God. We can see how, when, and where God is working. Our best response is to join in- to set our sails to catch the Heavenly wind. To go against the wind is hard. To refuse to try is wasted opportunity. To see God at work and get caught up in the wind’s energy- wonderful beyond description. On another HOT day I suggest you go catch the refreshing breeze- and go God’s way.
John 3:8 (NLT)
“The wind blows wherever it wants. Just as you can hear the wind but can’t tell where it comes from or where it is going, so you can’t explain how people are born of the Spirit.”
Kind and gracious Lord,
Thank you for supplying my needs.
I will “rest in the meadow grass” and drink from still streams.
Thank you for strength of body and spirit
that helps me serve You;
I will seek to love and serve You in all things.
Even in the dark and troubled days and nights,
where grief and despair search for my heart,
You keep me safe and guide my footsteps.
Enemies seek to hurt and destroy,
but You give hope like a banquet for my soul.
You accept me in gracious compassion,
show kindness to the unworthy,
and promise a place of secure Eternal Love.
be with me in every day,
and every experience
My soul will praise You;